David Pettie, ACSW, LCSW, DARTT
David PettieACSW, LCSW, DARTT
If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. And Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.
This approach is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help--and the other is "leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
I’ll help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment.
You will be seen as a couple but the most important work occurs in our one-to-one conversations. This is because you are starting out in different places.
I’ll help you see your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Number of Sessions: A maximum of 5 counseling sessions. The first session is usually 2 hours and the subsequent are 1.5 or 2 hours.
Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:
- When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
- When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
- When there is danger of domestic violence
If you think Discernment Counseling could be right for you the next step is to set up a brief phone consult (20-30min. max/no charge) with you and your partner separately. This way we can confirm that there’s a good fit with this approach and I can answer any questions you may have.
Please visit my contact form
and leave your name and email and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible.
I have over 35 years experience as a mental health practitioner, supervisor and trainer with an emphasis on the deep study of relationships. I have been an adjunct faculty member at SUNY Albany for 15 years teaching clinical practice to graduate students and clinical supervision to professional leaders. My work with couples and individuals follows the approach of Terrance Real (Relational Life Institute in Cambridge, MA), Pia Mellody (The Meadows in AZ), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Discernment Counseling from Bill Doherty. I am a certified Relational Life Therapist and a Certified Discernment Counselor.
Getting Started with David
Couples COUNSELING
I primarily work with couples in long term relationships and also see individuals seeking help with relationship issues. My initial appointment with couples is a two hour session. Thereafter, we usually meet every two weeks. I am typically quite active in the session and like to give
couples time between meetings to reflect, observe and practice new skills. The initial appointment for an individual is one and a half hours long. Subsequent meetings are one hour.
INSURANCE
I do not accept insurance but if you have out of network coverage for Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW), which is my license, I can provide a receipt for you to submit. Many of my clients receive partial or full reimbursement directly from their provider.
MY HOURS OF AVAILABILITY
I am scheduling new clients during the following times:
Monday: 7:00 am — 5:00 pmTuesday: 7:00 am — 5:00 pmWednesday: 7:00 am — 5:00 pm
FEES
$200 per hour for an individual appointment$220 per hour for a couples appointment
GOOD FAITH ESTIMATE
* Please see your rights relating to the Good Faith Estimate below.
Client Testimonials
David Pettie is a no-nonsense relationship therapist. Want to complain about your partner? Look elsewhere. In an intentionally limited time frame, he provided us with knowledge and practices that quickly got down to the hard work of being honest with ourselves, and each other. He coached us in applying these techniques during our sessions. Warning, David gives homework. Our relationship got intense and hurtful at times. It’s normal. It’s unavoidable. How we dealt with it using David’s coaching made a real difference for us. When things started going “off the rails” at home or elsewhere, we applied what we learned about two-way protective boundaries. It helped us process things without harming each other. If that failed, we used what we learned about limit setting. We stopped. We took time to examine our own parts in what wasn’t working, own it, and continue. This and other practices we learned were priceless, and regarding the homework, don’t say the dog ate it, do it!
~ Married Couple 60’s
When my partner and I sought out David we were in a very tough spot in our relationship and had spent some time with another therapist to no real effect. After the end of our first meeting, we both felt as though David was truly able to tune into what was going wrong in our relationship. Even better, he defined a plan that seemed workable to address it.
We continued with couples work for about 2 years and now see him on an "as needed" basis. During this time we conquered many issues that previously felt insurmountable; and we were able to do so in a respectful and relational way (well, at least 9 out of 10 times we could!).
What we both liked about working with David, was that he focused on providing us the skills we needed to move forward in our goals as a couple - and they were skills that we could easily apply outside of the therapeutic setting. He is easy to speak to, easy to open up to, and we both developed a solid rapport with him.
We were both always surprised by his level of attention and preparation for each meeting. To us, this showed how dedicated he was to our success as a couple and made us both even more invested in the process. We also, both, greatly appreciated that David never "checked out" of a session - he was always completely engaged and never hesitated to jump in and fix unhelpful behaviors or keep us both honest about our actions and inactions. Both his preparation and his "in tune-ness" were incredibly refreshing compared to the experience we had with the therapist we had left...and are the reasons why we never once regretted the financial investment we made when we decided to make the switch to work with David.
My partner and I are both certain that our relationship would not be where it is today without his skilled help, thoughtful ear and considered guidance. We have referred him to many of our friends and will continue to do so into the future.
In addition, I have seen David on an individual basis for the last several years to address very sensitive and difficult topics. David was always incredibly respectful of the boundaries I set as to what I was and was not willing to speak about. He has a true gift for holding space for someone to open up at the rate and pace that works for them. He was creative in his approaches to our work and I credit so much of my happiness - both personally and professionally - to David's help.
~ Couple, 30’s
We saw David for couples counseling after an incident that caused a breakdown of trust in our relationship. What really struck both of us throughout the process - and was critical for our success - was that we both felt that he was our advocate. There was no judgment, and that helped usboth feel heard and understood, by David as he drew us out, and by each other. We learned to listen to each other with the goal of understanding, not simply waiting for our turn to talk in order to be right. We discontinued therapy when we felt that we could independently use the communication skills we acquired - it's been two years, and we are doing better than ever. We both know that David is there as a resource if we hit really roughwaters, and wouldn't hesitate to reach out if necessary.~ Married Couple, 40’s
We sought David to help us recover and heal after a marital affair. We were incredibly hesitant about the process but David made us feel incredibly comfortable due to the relaxed atmosphere and his guidance. He helped us work through the healing process and helped us achieve a greater perspective on our flaws that ultimately led to an affair. Although we still consider ourselves a "work in progress" we now have a greaterunderstanding of where our communication breaks down and how to better resolve disagreements. We are less concerned about "who won" the argument and more concerned about who can resolve the argument. Wehighly recommend David. ~ Married Couple, 30’s
We had the wonderful opportunity to work with David Pettie and the therapy he provided wound up being life changing. After various traumatic events that we had experienced in our marriage, we were contemplating on whether or not to part ways. With one of us coming from a broken home and having our own kids we were focused on doing what was best for them (and us) and breaking the cycle by trying to see if we could save what we had. Reaching out to seek help from an outside source was the only option that seemed to make sense. One of us had never been open to counseling in the past in fear of being “judged”. However we found the experience to be quite the opposite. Throughout our journey with David we learned how to communicate again and had a realization of how each of us played a part in our struggle. Today our family is happy, healthy, and we feel truly blessed. Our love is the most important thing and we are so grateful we found our way back to one another. We owe a huge “thanks” to David for his patience, understanding, and all that he had taught us.~ Couple, 40's
It's incredibly important for me to explain how much my work with David helped me grow as a person. Prior to working with David I had tremendous difficulty trusting my perspective on my relationships or maintaining a level of confidence that supported some type of growth in my life. I often doubted myself to the point of self-sabotage. This negatively impacted every type of relationship in my life.
Working with David offered alternative perspectives for my interactions with others. I was introduced to new techniques I could practice to support a type of active growth and change. Additionally, I am a "doer", and being given small techniques to practice helped me feel like I was growing as a person. I've continued to practice many of the techniques he recommended in romantic relationships and work relationships, as well as with family. I have seen progress in my ability to "pause" before making a decision or acting.
I can say as another positive that I felt also as if he was working with me and not over me. I had to move out of the area and have missed working with him very much.~ 39 y.o. woman
Good Faith Estimate
You have the right to receive a “Good Faith Estimate” explaining how much your medical care will cost.
Under the law, health care providers need to give patients who don’t have insurance or who are not using insurance an estimate of the bill for medical items and services.
You have the right to receive a Good Faith Estimate for the total expected cost of any non-emergency items or services.
Make sure your health care provider gives you a Good Faith Estimate in writing at least 1 business day before your medical service or item. You can also ask your health care provider, and any other provider you choose, for a Good Faith Estimate before you schedule an item or service.
If you receive a bill that is at least $400 more than your Good Faith Estimate, you can dispute the bill.
Make sure to save a copy or picture of your Good Faith Estimate.
For questions or more information about your right to a Good Faith Estimate, visit www.cms.gov/nosurprises or call me at 518-439-3868.